Who Should You Love More: Your Partner or Family Members?


If you’re lucky enough to be in a happy, committed relationship, you might be debating how much of your time and love should go toward your partner, versus your family members. It’s certainly not an easy decision, but it can make or break the health of your relationships with both groups of people. We’ll show you some factors to consider when making this important decision, so you can choose who you love more wisely and efficiently!

Don’t take family first literally

When it comes to love, family often isn’t as high on your list as it is on your parents’. But you should never take family first literally. Yes, you should take care of your family members—but you should also let them know that they come second in a much larger priority list (you!). The reason family comes second is because they have options—they have another family to turn to and they have their own lives to live. If you don’t prioritize yourself above all else, your health and happiness will eventually go down the drain. It may sound selfish, but if you aren’t there for yourself no one else will be either.

Remind yourself of the two key factors

passion and purpose. First, we must consider how much time we spend with our loved ones versus how much time we spend with those we love but aren’t related to. Then, it’s a matter of asking yourself whether you can see yourself having more impact and making more of an impact on your partner’s life than you do on your family members’ lives. As you ponder these questions, keep in mind that passion and purpose also count for more than genetic ties. If your partner is doing something he loves and has a sense of purpose about what he does (and vice versa), then who are you to decide that one relationship deserves precedence over another? Sure, all relationships are complicated—but love trumps all else when it comes to spending time together.

Don’t forget about marriage

If you’re like most Americans, there’s a good chance that you consider your marriage to be a priority in your life. But it can be all too easy to overlook your partner when obligations at work and home take over. To keep your marriage happy and healthy, carve out time for dates, intimacy and even emotional connection with your spouse! It might seem obvious, but many married couples forget about their relationship when they have kids.


Always put the relationship first

Whether you’re newly dating, married, or a parent, there are times when your relationship may feel like it’s at odds with other things in your life. It can be challenging to figure out how to balance work, family, and romance—particularly if you have children. But don’t forget that your relationship should always come first; after all, isn’t that what you told each other when you got engaged?

Keep communication open

Relationships are more fragile than many people think. To keep your bond with family members, maintain an open dialogue about your feelings for one another. If you start to feel neglected, communicate how you feel to your partner—you should never bottle up your emotions! And if you sense that something is bothering your significant other, ask them what’s going on. Relationships thrive when both parties feel loved and cared for.

Take time apart with friends

During stressful times, couples often fall into a routine of choosing to spend all their time together, whether they want to or not. This can be really harmful to a relationship. Take some time apart with your friends and family members. If you’re worried about neglecting your partner, ask them if they would like to do something with you individually once in a while. Most likely, they will say yes!

Make personal connections a priority

Spending time with your loved ones is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship and ensuring a successful family. Make sure you’re including your partner and family members in life decisions, from weekend plans to long-term goals. Be flexible enough to accommodate everyone’s schedules and needs. It can be difficult, but it’s necessary for maintaining lasting relationships.

Make time for fun activities together

In addition to seeing each other daily, couples should make time for fun activities together that don’t involve your family. These simple activities can help strengthen your relationship and create positive memories to look back on in years to come. Remember, spending time with loved ones is vital—but it isn’t everything. If you have children, find a babysitter once every month and go out on a date with your partner so you can reconnect and get excited about your future together.


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